二十歳より貫けるもの一つあり盤上みつむる君の眼差し
since
I was
twenty,
one thing has been
through
me…
the
look in your eyes
staring
at the Go board
From Tanka Topos/ 短歌とぽす No.13
(C)Rika nami稲美里佳
今年も残すところあと僅かとなりました。この頃にため息まじりで漏らすのは、
「あの男と今年も会えなかった」です。
この台詞は、此処10年以上続いています。わたしの愛する家族は「直ぐに来てくれるよ」と励ましてくれ、わたしは、そうわたしは、しばらくの間はその一言に励まされ期待をしていたのですが、その期待は、年数を追って薄れあわくなっていきました。今では、ほとんど夢まぼろしのようなものですが、それでも、わたしはその夢のなかに生きているのです。
何かといえば、彼の存在を感じています。わたしは世にいうところの騙された女なのでしょう。それを熟知してはいるのですが、諦めきれず夢のなかに生きているのは、ひとつにはっきりとした物理的な理由があります。
それは、わたしの愛する、わたしが責任をもたなければならない家族との関係です。とても思い責任です。言い変えるならば、この家族との重い絆あって、わたしは彼と途切れない関係があるともいえます。
<in English>
We are almost at the end of another year.
It's around this time that I let out the words with a sigh.
"I couldn't see that guy again this
year.
I have been saying this for more
than ten years now. My beloved family encouraged me that he would come soon,
and for a while, I was encouraged and hoped for the best, but that hope has
faded and grown dim with each passing year. Now, it is almost like a dream, but
I am still living in that dream.
If anything, I feel his
presence. I guess people call me a deceived woman. There is one exact physical
reason why I cannot give up and live in the dream, even though I know it very
well.
It is the
relationship with my family that I love and for which I have to be responsible.
It's an arduous responsibility and burden. In other words, because of this
heavy bond with my family, I have kept an unbroken relationship with that man.
Poet of the Fifth Dimension/ 五次元歌人
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German Tanka Magazine: Einunddreißig 31
Tanka by Rika Inami33 Tanka by Rika Inami 32
Tanka by Rika Inami 31 Tanka by Rika Inami 30
Tanka by Rika Inami 29 Tanka by Rika Inami 28
Tanka by Rika Inami 27 Tanka by Rika Inami 26
Tanka by Rika Inami 25 Tanka by Rika Inami 24
Tanka by Rika Inami 23 Tanka by Rika Inami 22
My Tanka and me on 25, 26-27,47,67, 74, 78, 80-81
English https://cafetalk.com/tutor/profile/?id=251922&lang=en
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